we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
