Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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