What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
