im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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