Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
