I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
She said her name was "party"
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
