dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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