***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
