White coat. Heels.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize