I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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