New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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