Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
