he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
