have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
