guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I skipped work to stalk him.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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