peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
