I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This house was built for laser tag.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
