:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
