I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
