how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
