Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
