I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
