One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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