You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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