Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
