TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
