i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
