They should really pass out barf bags in church
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
