Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
