how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
