Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
