Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
