Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
