the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
