The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
