i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Panties = found
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
