dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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