i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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