I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
