remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
