Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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