So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
