I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
