Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
