I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
