Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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