I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
whose parrot is this?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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