Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I came so hard my ears popped.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
