So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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