I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
